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LEFT BRAIN, RIGHT BRAIN Lyrics

by Bo Burnham

Hello patient 24682
Hey what's up?
How are you feeling?
I'm alright
Has the treatment been working?
No, not really
What are your remaining symptoms?
I hate myself, I'm not good with other people, I don't know if I'm real or not
Blah, blah, blah, you're such a fucking pussy
Real mature, real fucking mature, conscience
I'm just messing around Bo, your problem is simple, your emotion and logic are at war
Your creativity and analysis are at war and most simply, your left and right brain are at war
To fix the problem we must separate them from each other
Splitting your neurological functions in
5... 4... 3.. 2.. 1
This may hurt a bit, 0
Isolation complete
This is Bos left brain, objective, logical, cold, analytical
Aware of patterns aware of trends he's efficient, and a prick
This is Bos right brain subjective, creative, sensory
Aware of feelings, aware of people, he's emotional, and an idiot
Okay boys play nice

I am the left brain, I am the left brain
I work really hard until my inevitable death brain
You got a job you better do it right in the right way with the left brains might

I get happy when I smell cookies (haha cookies!)
And I cry for at least an hour after watching Toy Story 3
Cause I am the right brain, I have feelings, I'm a little all over the place but I'm lustful and trustful and I'm looking for somebody to love.. Or put my penis in

Here comes a female, here comes a female
Puff your chest up take your phone out and check your email
Or evolutionary purpose is to repopulate
So gather data now and see if she's a possible mate

Holy fuck I think she might be the one, there's something about her, I just can't describe it
Boobs
I am the earth, she is the glorious sun
I want her to trust me and I want her to sit on my fucking face!
Alright now right brain you're being insane
No left brain, I'm just being alive
You should try it, you might like it

I worked hard to give him everything he cared about
You were worried about the things he was scared about
I'm calm and collective when you act wild
I am the adult you are child

You think you're the right one every time
You think you know everything but you don't know anything at all
Half of his problems were supposed to be mine
But you wanted everything I hope that you're happy because he's sure not

Well according to my calculations, I'm sorry just let me run this again, you're a giant pussy

Really name calling? Really name calling?

I'm name calling names alright, I'm just stating facts alright, the fact is you're a gigantic pussy

I'm the pussy? Really? Well at least I don't play with toys still

Rubix cubes are not toys alright, they keep my spacial rethink skills.. sharp

Left brain plays with toys! Haha, fucking, toy player

Well at least I did my fucking job, I kept him working, I kept him productive
You were supposed to look after him
You were supposed to keep him emotionally stable for all this
Now you're trying to blame me for how he's feeling, how he's feeling!
If he's feeling unhappy it's because you failed him
You did this to him, he hates you I know he does, he fucking hates you!

Right brain I'm sorry, okay?

No you're not

Look, maybe there's something we can do together

Together?

Take the best parts of both of us and put them together

It would let you let your feelings out, It would let me analyze

It's something that George Carlin did, It's something Steve Martin did
It's something special we can both perform, do you know what it is?

Oral sex on ourselves, we could suck each others dicks because no one is gonna suck our dicks for us!

It was comedy, you, fuck it, we could do comedy




  • Quote Artist


Daddy Yankee
Y me gusta tanto cuando se pega pega
Y me guaya guaya
Y se pega pega
Cuando le sueltan el dembow
Dembow bow bow
Papoose
So before leavin', yo it's a wise man I'm repeatin'
Two wrongs don't make a right, I believe in it makes a even
Paul Hardcastle
In 1965 Vietnam seemed like just another foreign war but it wasn't
It was different in many ways, as so were tose that did the fighting
In World War II the average age of the combat soldier was 26
In Vietnam he was 19
In-in-in Vietnam he was 19

The shooting and fighting of the past two weeks continued today
25 miles west of Saigon
I really wasn't sure what was going on

Ni-ni-ni 19, 19, ni-19 19
19, 19, 19, 19

In Vietnam the combat soldier typically served
A twelve month tour of duty
But was exposed to hostile fire almost everyday
Ni-ni-ni 19, Ni-ni-ni 19

Hundreds of thousands of men who saw heavy combat
In Vietnam were arrested since discharge
Their arrest rate is almost twice that of non-veterans of the same age
There are no accurate figures of how many of these men
Have been incarcerated

But a Veterans Administration study
Concludes that the greater of vets
Exposure to combat could more likely affect his chances
Of being arrested or convicted

This is one legacy of the Vietnam War

All those who remember the war
They won't forget what they've seen
Destruction of men in their prime
Whose average was 19

De-de-destruction
De-de-destruction
War, war

De-de-destruction, wa, wa, war, wa, war, war
De-de-destruction
War, war

After World War II the men came home together on troop ships
But the Vietnam vet often arrived home within 48 hours of jungle combat
Perhaps the most dramatic difference between
World War II and Vietnam was coming home
None of them received a hero's welcome

None of them received a heroes welcome, none of them, none of them
Ne-ne-ne, ne-ne-ne, none of them, none of them, none of them
None of them received a hero's welcome
None of them received a hero's welcome

According to a Veteran's Administration study
Half of the Vietnam combat veterans suffered from what
Psychiatrists call
Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder

Many vets complain of alienation, rage or guilt
Some succumb to suicidal thoughts
Eight to ten years after coming home
Almost eight hundred thousand men are still fighting the Vietnam War

De-de-destruction
Ni-ni-ni 19, 19, ni19 19
19, 19, 19, 19
Ni-ni-ni 19, 19, ni-19 19
19, 19, 19, 19

When we came back it was different, everybody wants to know
"How'd it happened to those guys over there?
There's gotta be something wrong somewhere
We did what we had to do

There's gotta be something wrong somewhere
People wanted us to be ashamed of what it made us
Dad had no idea what he went to fight and he is now
All we want to do is come home

All we want to do is come home
What did we do it for?
All we want to do is come home
Was it worth it
Cristina Vee
I've done everything I canAll the people that I see I will never understandIf I find a way to change, if I step into the lightThen I'll never be the same, and it all will fade to whiteEver on and on I continue circlingWith nothing but my hate in a carousel of agony
Cristina Vee
I've done everything I canAll the people that I see I will never understandIf I find a way to change, if I step into the lightThen I'll never be the same, and it all will fade to whiteEver on and on I continue circlingWith nothing but my hate in a carousel of agony
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